December With The Avengers
by Inimitable and Original
Summary: Christmas is coming and drama is unfolding through food fights, shopping, drunken behavior, explosions and the Avengers Secret Santa. Also, the team get visits from friends, family, Asgard and SHIELD. You don't want to miss this. Rated T-main pairings, Stucky, Clintasha, Scarlet Vision, Pepperony. Domestic!Avengers. Set in Avengers at Disney World-verse. *discontinued*
1. December 1st

December 1 2015

(Morning)

" _On the first day of Christmas-la la la la la la_..." Tony sang to himself as he dragged a tree into the main room of Stark Tower. Steve and Bucky, who were trying to solve a Rubik's Cube together, exchanged a glance and turned to the genius.

"What-uh... What's going on, Tony?" Steve asked.

"It's December First. Christmas is in 24 days."

"We know that." Bucky replied. "But what are you-specifically-doing right now?"

Tony gave a look of slight confusion. "Putting up the Christmas Tree."

Clint then entered the room with an arm around Natasha. She was supporting him as they walked.

"Oh my god, Legolas, are you alright?" Tony dropped the tree and rushed over to the assassins along with the two super soldiers.

"He's fine, Tony." Natasha rolled her eyes. "But a word of warning-keep a strong eye on your eggnog."

"You mean..." Tony attempted to put two and two together.

"He got into your eggnog." Natasha confirmed with a nod.

"So he's..."

"Drunk out of his mind, yes."

Steve shook his head. "It's ten in the morning."

"No tim... Rilly fro Gregnog!" Clint declared loudly, swinging his arms and almost slapping Natasha in the face.

"Did he just say... Gregnog?" Bucky frowned and screwed his face in confusion.

"Like I said." Natasha sighed. "Drunk out of his mind.

* * *

(Afternoon)

"I brought food!" Bruce called out as he entered the main room of Stark Tower carrying five shopping bags. Seeing the passed out form of Clint on the couch, panic flashed over his face. "Is Clint...?"

"Drunk." Tony snorted as he wrapped tinsel around the Christmas tree. "So I hope you brought eggnog. All mine's being digested in Katniss over there's stomach." He rolled his eyes and thumbed over to Clint.

Bruce nodded slowly. "I thought he was hurt.."

"I had JARVIS run a scan and he apparently sprained his ankle while he was drunk and doesn't know."

"That won't be pleasant to wake up to." Bruce chuckled awkwardly. "Well, at least it isn't a tattoo or he chopped his finger off. That would be worse."

"Well, I can think of worse, but yeah, those are significantly worse than a sprained ankle." Tony agreed. "With a sprained ankle, fine, toss him a pair of crutches, but what would you do with a tattoo?" He shrugged.

"So where's Nat and Steve?" Bruce asked.

"In the secondary rec room." Tony sighed. "Watching Lion King or some shit with Bucky. Wanda and Vision are in the gym..." He paused. "Sam, Scott and Rhodey I got no idea where they are. Out in New York, I suppose."

"Thor should be coming for a visit from Asgard soon, right?" Bruce asked as he dropped the shopping bags on the floor.

"Yeah, he said something about wanting to learn about and celebrate Midgard traditions and culture." Tony rolled his eyes.

"Cool." Bruce said. "I'm going to go... To Nat, Steve and Bucky." He left the room.

"Sure. Leave me to decorate this damn thing by myself." Tony muttered.

* * *

(Evening)

Everyone except Sam was in the main room of Stark Tower while Tony put lights on the tree. Christmas music played loudly while everyone did their own thing. Clint was still passed out on the couch.

"Alright, guys!" Sam shouted, sauntering into the room. "Pizza's done!"

Clint's eyes snapped open with immediate regret as he brought his hands to his head. "What the hell?" He groaned.

"Ah, Merida, you're awake." Tony chuckled, plugging the lights into a nearby empty socket. The light shone brightly and Clint shielded his eyes with his arm.

"Do you mind _not_ scorching my retinas, please?" Clint growled.

"Okay, Clint's awake." Sam shrugged. "So while I get him an Alka-Seltzer, you guys can help yourself to the pizza, mashed potatoes, sausage and other finger foods I so graciously made."

"Thanks, Sam." Steve said, taking Bucky by the hand and walking out of the room. As he walked, Bucky gave Sam a nod.

"Anyone else want my food?" There was a blur as Pietro dashed to the kitchen and back with a plate full to the brim with buffet food. "You sure you don't want more?" Sam asked sarcastically.

"I got some for Wanda, too." Pietro shrugged, offering his plate to his sister.

"I do not need to eat." Vision said, as he continued to read People Magazine.

"Hurry up with that Alka-Seltzer, Sam." Clint begged.

"Yeah, the last thing we need is a hungover Cupid." Tony chuckled. Clint took a handful of the twins' mashed potato and threw it at Tony, hitting him on the chest. "That's the way you want to play it?" Tony stormed over to the twins and grabbed a slice of pizza, rubbing it in Clint's face.

"You are going to wish you hadn't done that." Clint narrowed his eyes, before grabbing the plate and standing up to tip the contents out on Tony's head. Soon a full blown food fight developed as Sam watched in horror and Pietro dashed back and forth to get more and more 'ammunition'.

Steve and Bucky saw Pietro at the food table and assumed he was getting portions for everyone in the room, but couldn't have been more shocked when they walked into the main room to see everyone but Sam and Vision-who was still casually reading-throwing food at each other.

"What happened here?" Steve asked in his commanding voice. Everyone instantly stopped and pointed at either Tony or Clint.

"He started it!" They said in unison.

* * *

(Night)

After the evening's food fight, everyone watched the latest episode of The Muppets, and some decided to go to bed early. Steve and Bucky were two of them. Wanda and Vision were curled up together watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas with the Avengers who hadn't gone to bed early, when a strange sound started coming from Steve's room.

"What's that?" Wanda asked. "Is sounds like they are putting a shelf up."

"Wanda, no." Natasha smirked. "That's almost the opposite of what they're doing.

"You know, I always thought that Capsicle was a prude." Tony chuckled. "But by the sounds of things, he's done this before. And a few times." He added.

"I thought that he was in the 40's, I mean, it was a different time." Rhodey shrugged. "All that 'god holier than thou, though not before marriage' deal."

"I don't get it. What is happening?" Wanda frowned.

"Steve's having sex with Bucky." Natasha, Rhodey and Tony answered.

"It must be good, since they're still going at it." Natasha remarked casually.

"I do not wish to know about Steve and Bucky's personal lives." Vision blinked.

"Yeah, Natasha, that was probably too much information."

"Hey." Sam said, appearing at the doorway. "Bucky and Steve are..."

"Having sex?" Rhodey raised an eyebrow. "We know."

"Well it's..."

"Keeping you awake?" Bruce asked, also appearing at the doorway. Sam nodded.

"T'was 23 nights before Christmas and all through Stark Tower, not a creature was stirring unless you count Steve and Bucky who were engaging in coitus." Tony smirked.

"Not funny." Natasha rolled her eyes.

"What is coitus?" Wanda asked.

"A fancy word for sex." Sam shook his head.

The thudding eventually stopped close to midnight.

* * *

 **A/N: Christmas is fast approaching! This is my Advent Calendar to my readers, who will be pleasantly surprised come Christmas Day-I hope.**


	2. December 2nd

December 2 2015

(Morning)

" _Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la la_ -oh hey Capsicle." Tony was decorating the main room with tinsel and bunting when Steve walked in.

"Tony." Steve gave a nod of acknowledgement.

"Did you enjoy last night?" Tony asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, Tony, the Muppets were very amusing-"

"No, I meant your hot super soldier sex with Bucky." Tony smirked and Steve blushed.

"I-I uh... H-how's Clint?"

"Don't change the subject, Captain." Tony said warningly.

"You're not tormenting the poor man, are you, Stark?" Natasha walked in, sucking on a straw from a cup of Sprite. "By the way, congratulations on last night., Steve"

"What happened last night?" Steve narrowed his eyes.

"Well." Natasha shrugged and gave Tony a look. Tony nodded and began fiddling with his phone. "You might want to get Bucky in here since it concerns him too, but we heard you."

"Heard us what?" Bucky asked walking into the room peeling off some magnets from his arm. Tony turned the big TV on and a music video came up-Lonely Island and Akon's _I Just Had Sex_. Steve turned bright red and Bucky just burst out laughing.

"You're both in your 90's and you were going at it like jackhammers last night!" Tony chuckled. "I swear the entire tower was shaking."

"It was embarrassingly hilarious." Natasha smirked. Steve frowned and looked away.

"I can soundproof your room, if you want." Tony shrugged.

"Yeah." Steve nodded. "It's for the best."

* * *

(Afternoon)

"Sir, Maria Hill is at the door. She is requesting entry." JARVIS said. Everyone was sitting in the dining room. "What shall I-"

"Let her in." Tony shrugged, shovelling food into his mouth.

"She would like to take the express elevator, Sir." JARVIS said.

"Why?" Tony frowned.

"There is something of critical urgency that she would like to discuss." JARVIS replied. "It is pertaining to SHIELD."

"Then let her up." Tony shrugged and put a forkful of food into his mouth.

"I thought SHIELD didn't exist any more." Steve bit his lip.

"Fury still helps out." Sam shrugged.

"Yeah, but that's different." Rhodey paused. "It's not proper SHIELD."

Clint walked into the room with a black eye. "What's up?" He asked.

"This is up." Maria stood in the doorway.

"Wow, the express elevator _really_ means express." Steve chuckled.

"Yeah, it's faster than Sonic the Hedgehog here." Tony pointed to Pietro.

"Well, there's something important I need to tell you and I'm sorry I didn't do it earlier in the year." Maria sighed.

"What is it?" Tony asked.

"Philip James Coulson." Maria shook her head.

"What about him?" Bruce frowned.

"Hang on-who's Philip Coulson?" T'Challa raised an eyebrow as he went to put his plate in the sink.

"An old friend. He was killed by Loki." Tony said softly. "Stabbed... In the heart. And I actually miss him coming to check up on me. Made me feel like someone besides Pepper cared."

"Well, here's the thing, the Director of SHIELD has pretty much ordered me to tell you..." Maria took a deep breath. "Phil Coulson is-" She bit her lip. "Phil Coulson is alive."

* * *

(Evening)

"Tony, did you have to throw Maria out earlier?" Janet asked, poking at her pork chop.

"She's lied to me for 3 years." Tony said bitterly. "What did you expect me to do?"

"Came on, Toneeeee!" Clint chuckled. "Yer wat sme gregnog..." He waved a cup of eggnog in Tony's face and some of it sloshed out on the floor. " _Oh Crissmiss tree oh Crissmiss tree, how love you are my dick a ballssss_."

"Clint!" Natasha snapped. "Stop getting drunk off Stark's eggnog!"

"So Coulson's alive huh?" Bruce shook his head. "I-I didn't expect that revelation."

" _Fie glode Gregnog_!" Clint screamed, before falling on the floor with laughter. " _Four voka, thee Witneee Hoozten, two Sounda Moosic ana Pratrige ina peh tree_!"

"Get him to bed." Tony rolled his eyes. "This Coulson shit still needs discussing.

" _Fie glode Gregnog_!" Clint shouted out as Natasha put Clint's arm around her neck to pick him up. " _Fie glode Gregnog_!"

"Come on, drunky." Natasha sighed, dragging Clint up from the floor.

" _Fie glode Gregnog_!"

"Yeah, so you've already said." Natasha nodded.

"Fie. Glode. Gregnog." Clint growled, rubbing his cup in Natasha's face.

"Please don't do that. It's going to smash." Natasha said, calmly swatting Clint's arm away. The glass flew out of his hand and down at Carol's feet.

"Do you need any help, Natasha?" Carol asked.

"No, I can manage him." Natasha sighed and shook her head.

" _Fie glode Gregnog_!" Clint cheered and Natasha grunted and let out a sigh.

* * *

(Night)

Scott was in the kitchen, fridge door open, foraging for food. Rhodey walked into the kitchen barefooted and cleared his throat.

"Hey." Scott blinked, swallowing the food in his mouth. "I wasn't expecting anyone else."

"I just wanted a drink of water." Rhodey replied. "I didn't expect anyone to be here eating my best friend out of house and home."

"How's uh-Hawkeye?" Scott asked.

"Clint's passed out drunk again."

Scott nodded. "That's pretty shit."

"Yeah, Stephen's watching over him with Wanda." Rhodey shrugged. "He just got so drunk it was unbelievable."

"More like painful." Scott winced. "Five glowing gregnot? What's that about?"

"No idea. I think it was just random drunken rambling."

"But he could've hurt Carol or Natasha."

"He could've hurt any of us." Rhodey replied.

"True." Scott agreed. "Hide the eggnog from him?"

"Definitely." Rhodey nodded."


	3. December 3rd

December 3 2015

(Morning)

" _Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose_..." Tony sang to himself as he put up lights on the exterior of the tower in the shape of a reindeer. He was in his Iron Man suit.

"Sir, your presence is needed inside." JARVIS said.

"Caaaan it wait?" Tony asked, fixing the nose on Rudolph.

"I'm afraid not, Sir. Ms Hill is back with another agent."

"Fine, I'll be there now." Tony huffed sulkily.

"Also, Mr Barton is trying to get into your eggnog supply again."

"Wonderful." Tony rolled his eyes.

Inside the tower Rhodey was staring at Maria, arms folded and eyes narrowed.

"Let me past, Rhodey. This is..."

"No. You hurt Tony yesterday and I'm not going to let you do that again."

"By saying Coulson's not dead?" Maria scoffed. "I brought you guys to Disney World this past June, you think you'd be a bit more..."

"Maria Hill." Tony flipped the faceplate up on his armor. "Come here to continue to desecrate the memories of my dead friends?"

"Tony, please." Maria said warningly.

"Who's this?" Tony waved a hand at the other agent.

"My name is Agent Jimmy Woo and I'm from the new Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division..."

"Get out." Tony said. "Both of you. Before I get Stephen Strange in here to send you both to the Dark Dimension."

"I'm not leaving until you hear me out." Maria narrowed her eyes.

"Then you'll be here all day." Tony turned to leave the room and Rhodey followed.

* * *

(Afternoon)

"Clint, no." Rhodey shook his head. "You've got drunk off your face two days in a row, now I'm not going to let you do it a third."

"Boo." Clint jeered.

"Rhodey's right to not let you into the eggnog." Scott nodded. "We're not telling you where it is."

"Who else knows where it is?" Clint huffed.

"T'Challa." Scott answered.

"But you won't get an answer out of him." Rhodey said.

"I'm going to damn well try." Clint balled his fists and stormed out of the main room, just as Tony was walking in without his Iron Man armour.

"What's up with him?" Tony thumbed to Clint.

"We wouldn't let him know where the eggnog is." Rhodey chuckled.

"So he's gone to ask T'Challa." Scott smirked.

"Hah! Good luck to him getting an answer from the King of Wakanda!" Tony burst out laughing.

"Sir, two men are at the door." JARVIS announced.

"Who are they?" Tony asked.

"I can't tell, sir, they are both masked."

"Show me the security feed, J." Tony moved to the nearest computer screen. An image showed of two men-one in a red and blue outfit with black trim and the other in a red and black outfit with horns on his helmet. The first man was supporting the second man who was bleeding and gave a wave to the camera.

"Let them in, J. It's Peter with a wounded guy." Tony sighed and moved away. "Let them into the express elevator. I'll meet them down in medical." He sighed. "Let Stephen and T'Challa know and call them to medical."

"Can do, Sir."

"Are you _really_ going to go down?" Rhodey asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" Tony shrugged. "I doubt Peter would bring in a threat to the Avengers." He walked out of the room again and through the hall to see Maria and Jimmy still waiting.

"Stark, are you ready to hear me out...?" Maria began.

"Ah ah ah-no talking." Tony scowled. "You're lucky I haven't told Pepper about your desecration of her close friend."

"Coulson's alive, Stark, I..."

"Bye, bye." Tony waved as he walked down the hall.

* * *

(Evening)

"Tony, are you ready to talk now?" Maria asked as Tony walked down the hall again.

"In your dreams, Hill." Tony said as he walked. He entered the main room of the tower where everyone was gathered. "What's going on here, then?"

"Secret Santa." Pietro answered. "Apparently."

"Now Tony, pick a name from the hat." Carol said, holding out a baseball hat full of folded up pieces of paper. Tony sighed and took a piece of paper and unfolded it. _T'Challa_.

"Great, thanks." Tony shook his head and walked through to the kitchen. Everyone else took a name from Carol's hat until there were three pieces of paper left. Carol took one and opened it up. _Hope_. She smiled and put the hat down.

"So where've you been all day?" Bruce asked.

"Medical." Tony shrugged. "Wanda and Stephen are working on healing a guy-calls himself Daredevil, but his real name's Matt Murdock."

"The attorney?" Clint frowned. " _He's_ Daredevil?"

"Evidently." Tony shrugged. Wanda and Stephen walked in.

"Take a paper for Secret Santa!" Carol said enthusiastically. Wanda took a paper and opened it. _Rhodey_. Stephen took the final paper in his trembling hand and opened it. _Steve_. He rolled his eyes.

"Why did I agree to this?" He shook his head.

"Because it's almost Christmas! Yay!" Carol cheered.

* * *

(Night)

Wanda looked at her clock. 1am. Still couldn't sleep. She got out of bed and crept down to the gym-passing Maria and Jimmy who were sleeping on each other. In the gym, Stephen was sitting down crossed legged and meditating.

"Do you mind if I join you?" She asked.

"No, of course not. Sit down beside me." Stephen offered.

"What are you doing?" Wanda asked, sitting down.

"Meditating." Stephen nodded. "It helps to recharge my batteries late at night. It's good for my magic to do this, but it's also good for myself. It's calming." He answered.

"Could you help with my magic?" Wanda asked.

"I might be able to." Stephen broke from his meditation and looked at her. "What is it you need?"

"I need to know what I can do." Wanda said.

"Of course." Stephen stood up and Wanda followed suit. "I will cast a small spell to you and you can try to deflect it." He cast a small cold spell and Wanda cast a spell of protection.

"Very good, Wanda." Stephen nodded. "Can you do it while I'm using my cloak of levitation?" He asked, putting his red trademark cloak on and raised around a foot off the ground. He cast a heat spell towards Wanda, who attempted to deflect it, but accidentally used a fire spell. There was a loud boom as the gym exploded.

"Bozhe moi!" Wanda blurted out before cursing in Russian.

"By the Vishanti!" Stephen blinked, rapidly looking around. "Find a fire extinguisher-I'll have to try a wind spell." He cast the wind spell before quickly casting an ice spell.

"Didn't know you were Elsa, Stephen." Tony raised an eyebrow.

"How long have you been there?" Stephen asked once the fire had all been extinguished.

"A while." Tony smirked. "It doesn't take that long to get from my room to the gym, especially there was a loud and obvious explosion."

"It's half 1 in the morning."

"Yeah, the cops are coming." Tony winced. "So uh... Good luck with that."


	4. December 4th

December 4 2015

" _Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, how_... Stephen." Tony said, walking the hall and bumped into Stephen Strange. "How are you this morning?" He asked.

"I'm fine."

"How's Wanda?"

"Also fine." Stephen answered. "Now if you don't move, I'm going to cast a spell on you."

"You wouldn't do that, Strange." Tony raised an eyebrow.

"I would." Stephen folded his arms. "I'm the Sorcerer Supreme."

"But you have to do it for good. To protect the world."

"Trust me, Stark." Stephen scoffed. "If I encased you in a block of ice and sent you to the Dark Dimension, that _would_ be protecting the world." Tony frowned. "Yes. Have you forgotten about Ultron already?"

"But we couldn't foresee that happening-"

"Have you _not_ seen Terminator?" Stephen shook his head. "The outcome should've been pretty... Obvious." Tony grunted.

Bucky and Steve walked the hall hand in hand and saw Stephen and Tony talking.

"What are we discussing?" Bucky asked.

"Ultron." Stephen said without turning to the two.

"Yeah, that wasn't cool." Steve shook his head.

"So-are Maria Hill and that other guy still here?" Tony asked.

"Yeah." Bucky nodded. "We just passed them."

"JARVIS!" Tony called out.

"Yes, Sir?" JARVIS asked.

"Might as well give Maria Hill and the other agent some food and drink if they insist on staying here." Tony sighed. "As much as I don't want to talk to them, I also don't want them to starve." He grunted again. "Get one of the assassin twins to give it to them."

"Yes, Sir. I shall inform them now."

"So you two are an item now?" Tony pointed to Bucky and Steve.

Steve cleared his throat and looked around awkwardly. "Well, uh-I..."

"Relax Capsicle. It's 2016 in 28 days. It's not 1945 any more. Be gay, don't be gay, I don't give a shit." Tony shook his head and walked away.

"That's his way of approving of your relationship." Stephen said. "Honestly, I don't really care either. A few Avengers are seeing each other-Scott and Hope, Hank and Janet, Natasha and Clint, Wanda and Vision... Congratulations." He shrugged. "Just don't be loud about it again."

"You heard too?" Steve blushed.

"It was indeed... Pretty awkward." Stephen nodded.

"Really sorry about that, Stephen." Bucky chuckled awkwardly. "But can't you just cast a spell so nobody hears our fu..."

"Coitus-no I can't." Stephen said.

"Coitus?" Bucky looked quizzically at Steve.

"Sex, Bucky." Stephen rolled his eyes and sighed. "Just try to be a bit quieter when you engage in coitus from now on."

"Yeah, but only if you try to be less loud blowing shit up." Bucky raised an eyebrow. "You disturbed our sex last night when you blew up Tony's gym."

"Never going to hear the end of that, am I?" Stephen sighed again.

"Never!" Bucky said smugly as Stephen walked away.


	5. December 5th

December 5 2015

" _Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at you_ r..."

"Sir, I'm afraid a situation in the recreation room requires your immediate attention." JARVIS announced.

"Can you let me at least deck the halls first?" Tony asked, arms full of Christmas bunting.

"No, Sir, I'm afraid it's rather urgent."

"I'll be there now." Tony sighed and dumped the bunting on the floor to go to the rec room. When he got there, he found the room in chaos with Clint and Natasha on the coffee table, half naked-and Natasha braless. On top of that, other Avengers were either cheering them on or fighting with each other, in particular Scott and Bucky. T'Challa was at the back of the room reading _The Art of War_ and Stephen was floating as he meditated in the corner.

"What's going on here?!" Tony shouted. The room came to a halt immediately and turned to Tony. Clint obscured Natasha's chest with his hands and Natasha covered Clint's crotch with her hands. "Public sex! That's what's going on! You two were going to _fuck_ in my rec room!" Tony spat out.

"Well you see, there was a bet..." Pietro chuckled.

"And Clint and Natasha got drunk." Hank added. "Some of us betted that they wouldn't have sex, like Scott."

"But Bucky betted yes." Pietro said. "When they got onto the table and kissed, Bucky punched Scott."

"Which is what instigated the fight." Janet put her hand on her hip. "Of course, I also bet that they wouldn't do it as I thought Natasha and Clint had more pride than to have sex in front of all... 20-odd of us."

"Well, you'd better behave tomorrow." Tony glared. "Pepper's coming home."

"Already?" Steve said in shock.

"Yes, already. It's December 5th. Her conference ends today."

"That reminds me." T'Challa set down his book. "When is Thor coming back from Asgard?"

"December 10th, barring some emergency somewhere in the Nine Realms." Stephen answered.

"Did you get that answer from the Astral Plane?" Bruce asked.

"No, he told me before he left." Stephen shrugged.

"Hey, are Agent Hill and Agent Woo still out in the hall?" Bucky raised an eyebrow.

"I do believe so." Vision piped up. "I have seen them in the hall earlier in the day."

Tony frowned, before turning to Wanda. "Can you and Vizh do me a massive favour?"

"That depends." Wanda folded her arms.

"Deck the halls." Tony said. "The stuff you'd need is outside the room. Pietro, Scott, Sam, can you go shopping for what you think would be a good Welcome Home meal for Pepper?" He asked.

"Caaan doooo!" Sam said enthusiastically. Scott and Pietro nodded in agreement.

"Right-Clint, Natasha, I'm gonna need you to do me the biggest favour-put some clothes on." Tony growled slightly. Natasha nodded in embarrassment and picked up her clothes, slipping on a t-shirt.

"Sorry about that, Tony." She muttered.

"Wanat Gregnog!" Clint announced.

"Get him to bed. And Bruce, T'Challa, Hank, get your asses down to the lab and develop some kind of serum that won't get Katniss drunk off his tits again."

"I don't know if we can..." Bruce frowned.

"You're three of the most intelligent men not just in this room, but on the planet." Tony sighed. "I'm sure together-and later with me, that makes it four-you will be able to come up with _something_."

"I mean... I _did_ discover particles that can make you shrink and grow." Hank shrugged.

"I created the Hulk." Bruce muttered timidly.

"And I have advanced PH.D.s." T'Challa added.

"Good. Get moving." Tony said. "I'll be there later. Hope, Carol, Rhodey, go and set up the outside Christmas decorations. I chose you three because you're all fliers."

"What about me?" Janet scowled.

"You have to shrink to fly. These three don't."

"I'm still going with them." Janet followed the three out the room.

"That leaves me with Steve and Bucky." Tony sighed. "You two can do the cooking."

"No complaints from me!" Bucky happily announced, taking Steve by the hand.

"Stephen, go check on our guest. He's still in the med center, isn't he?"

"Indeed he is." Stephen confirmed.

"Has he got a name?" Tony asked, slightly raising an eyebrow.

"Matt Murdock." Stephen replied.

"I know that." Tony rolled his eyes. "I was talking about the other guy."

"Other guy?"

"You know? Tall, muscular, black. Bulletproof skin."

"That would be Luke Cage." Stephen replied.

"Excellent. I'm gonna go see him." Tony smiled.


	6. December 6th

December 6 2015

" _Dashing through the snow, on a one horse_..." Tony sand to himself as he walked to the rec room. He was interrupted by Steve with a look of blind panic on his face. "Morning to you too, Capsicle."

"Tony, you're going to want to see this." He grabbed Tony by the wrist.

"Is Pepper home yet?" Tony asked. He registered the look of panic Steve had and his heart sunk. "Please don't say it's on the news that she died."

"Well, someone did die." Steve cleared his throat.

"Oh god. It's Pepper, isn't it?" He asked sadly.

"It's not-Pepper's fine to my knowledge." Steve shook his head. "Though just why she'd want to be with you is anyone's question." He dragged the genius into the rec room where Bruce, Clint, Natasha, Hank and half the Avengers were staring at a guy who had two kids with him. When Tony realized who the man looked like, he began to stare as well.

"See, Tony?" Steve said incredulously. "It's him!"

"Come on, Tony, we both know that you don't have to stare."

"You're dead." Tony backed away a few steps.

"I tried to tell you, Stark." Maria said, coming behind him. "For the last 4 days, I've tried to tell you."

"It's a Christmas Miracle." Steve cried out.

"Sir, Miss Potts has returned to the tower, shall I let her up to the recreation room?" JARVIS asked.

Tony was snapped from his trance. "Y-yeah, J. Let her up here. Tell her there's something urgent she has to see."

"I shall, Sir."

"Thanks." Tony muttered and clapped his hands. "You-" He pointed angrily to the man. "Don't move until Pepper gets here." He turned around to glare angrily at Maria and Jimmy. "You two dare say anything about this." He warned. Bruce stood up and walked over to Tony.

"What do you think Thor will say?" He asked with a sigh.

Tony shook his head. "I don't know." He pursed his lips and shook his head. "I really don't. I hope he doesn't summon lightning in anger and destroy my tower."

"Maybe we should keep this from him then." Bruce suggested.

"That might not be a good plan. I mean, Heimdall can see everything-"

"If Heimdall is so omnipotent, then maybe he's already told Thor." Bruce shrugged.

"Nah, I can't see Thor knowing about-"

"Tony!" A woman shouted happily. Tony turned around to see Pepper and her luggage in the elevator. He ran to her and gave her a hug and a quick kiss. "So, what's this urgent thing you needed me to see right just now?" Pepper asked. Tony pointed to the man and the kids and her eyes widened.

"It's real, Pepper." Tony muttered.

"Holy shit." Pepper breathed. "Phil." She dropped her luggage and walked over to him.

"Pepper." He said. "I know what this looks like, but you have to believe me, this wasn't my choice-" Pepper interrupted him by poking him in the shoulder with the four fingers on her left hand. She then put her hand on his forehead and the other hand on his cheek.

"Phil!" She announced, happily throwing her arms around him. "I can't believe you're alive!" She choked out as Christmas music filled the room.

"Neither can I." Tony blinked. Clint and Natasha hi-fived. "Assassins, did you know about this?"

"We didn't _not_ know about it." Clint offered with a shrug.

"So you knew?" Bruce frowned.

"No comment." Natasha raised an eyebrow.

"So who are the kids?" Tony asked.

"The boy's Max Coulson and the girl's Elizabeth Coulson. Phil adopted them." Jimmy said.

"Didn't figure him for paternal." Tony rolled his eyes, crouching to be eye level with the kids. "So what are you getting from Santa this year?" He asked.

"Nothing!" Dana announced happily.

"Nothing?" Tony looked to Phil. More like a glare. "You're getting your kids _nothing_ for Christmas?"

"We're Jewish, Tony." Phil said. "Happy Hanukkah."

"Happy Hanukkah!" Max and Dana shouted happily.

"They're getting 8 small presents over the next few days." Phil said.

"Wow. That's two surprises." Tony shook his head. "That you're alive _and_ that you're Jewish."

"Also, we were in Disney World the same time this year." Phil muttered.

"What?" Tony frowned.

"Nothing." Phil shook his head innocently.


	7. December 7th

December 7 2015

" _Good King Wenceslas looked in on the feast of Stephen_... I meant _Coulson_." Tony corrected himself, upon seeing Phil Coulson.

"Hey Stark." Phil smiled. He was making pancakes in the kitchen. "I hope you don't mind, but Max and Dana have to have routine."

"How old are they?" Tony raised an eyebrow.

"Max is 7 and Dana's 5. She'll be starting kindergarten next year." Phil replied.

"Shouldn't she already be there?" Tony asked.

"She should _not_. It was her birthday on November 28th." Phil shrugged. "She's just turned 5."

"So... What's wrong with your son?" Tony folded his arms and leaned on the kitchen island across from Phil.

"Nothing's ' _wrong_ ' with Max." Phil asserted. "He has a co-ordination disorder that affects his motor skills-spastic diplegia cerebral palsy."

Tony raised his eyebrows. "Wow."

"Dana's his biological sister. Max had been in the system for a year before the state took his sister away as a newborn." Phil explained. "And if you're wondering, Max _wasn't_ born that way."

Tony looked down and cleared his throat, dragging his arms off the countertop. "Right well, I'm sorry..."

"Don't be." Phil replied, dishing the pancakes out on plates. "Max has a good quality of life. I get him everything he needs and more-you know, I got him an iPad for Hannukah." He chuckled. "Don't tell him that though."

"Why'd you get him an iPad?" Tony asked in disgust. Phil's face fell. "If I'd've known you were alive, I'd've hooked you up with two superior StarkPads for free." He clapped Phil on the shoulder and the two shared a laugh. "Actually, if that piece of shit iPad ever craps out on you, I'll send you a free replacement StarkPad. You get free Stark technology for life, Phil, if you don't die on us again."

"I'll do my best, Tony." Phil chuckled.

Stephen walked into the kitchen. "Hello." He greeted the two before looking through the cupboards.

"What are you looking for, Stephen?"

"Well, Mr Cage would like something and I'm just checking if you have it." Stephen floated to look at the top shelf.

"He can fly?" Phil asked in disbelief.

"No. That red cloak-that's the cloak of levitation. He's a magician."

"Sorcerer Supreme." Stephen corrected.

"Whatever." Tony waved him off. Stephen dropped a jar of spices on the floor "He used to be a neurosurgeon. He has nerve damage and his hands don't work properly. They're shaky and tremble a lot."

"Stephen Strange." Phil nodded in understanding. "My Max does that. He struggles with his reflexes."

"I guess I'll just have to talk to him then." Stephen smiled slightly.

"He's not usually like this. He's usually an ass." Tony snorted.

"I'll do it after I go and see Mr Cage." Stephen said, walking out of the room. Tony followed him, leaving Phil in the kitchen.

"So Hill and that other guy are gone?"

"Jimmy Woo and yes." Stephen confirmed with a nod. "We also have two other guests. Miss Jessica Campbell Jones-"

"Wait-Jewel?" Tony's eyebrows shot up. "What is _she_ doing _here_?"

"Looking for Mr Murdock." Stephen replied. "And the second is Mr Daniel Rand."

"The Rand Corp guy karate teacher?"

"Yes, him." Stephen sighed.

"And you let them in without my consent?" Tony narrowed his eyes.

"Pepper said it was fine so I assumed you would be okay with it also." Stephen shrugged.

"Yeah, but Rand is just as rich as I am." Tony scoffed. "He doesn't need asylum here like... Like Bucky or Bruce or the twins..."

"Neither do T'Challa, Hank, Janet, Thor or I." Stephen pointed out. "You have the King of Wakanda, a respected scientist, a fashion designer, the prince of Asgard-an entire realm-and... Me. All living in this tower-for the time being."

"That is true, Stephen." Tony sighed. "So when do I get to meet Miss Jones and Mr Rand?" He asked as they stopped outside the medical bay.

"You don't." Stephen slipped through the door and slammed it in Tony's face.


	8. December 8th

December 8 2015

" _Joy to the world, the lord has come, la la la la la_..." Tony sang to himself as he made his way through the halls. He bumped into a young woman and immediately snapped from his trance.

"Oh, sorry." He said.

"'S okay." She shrugged, putting her hands in her pocket.

Tony frowned. "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?" He asked.

"I don't know, maybe you have." She raised an eyebrow and stared Tony down. After a minute or so of staring, it finally clicked to Tony who she was.

"You're Jessica Jones, aren't you?"

"Finally figured it out?" Jessica snorted. "I thought you were supposed to be intelligent." She took her bandaged hand from her pocket and inspected her fingernails.

"I heard you were here yesterday." Tony folded his arms. "But I only thought that it would be for medical treatment."

"Yeah well, I'm here. Your girlfriend said it was fine. Get used to it." Jessica narrowed her eyes at Tony.

"No way." Tony shook his head. "I already got 22 people and two robots living here, soon to be 27 people..."

"So you can handle four more of us."

"No, I actually can't, I..."

"Well, everyone else seems to think you can, so..." Jessica shrugged. Tony let out a low growl. "It's also Christmas."

"It's December the 8th." Tony said.

"Christmas season then." Jessica said. "Same difference."

"No, it's not the same, I..."

"Did you just say living quarters?" Jessica raised an eyebrow.

"I said it's not the same..."

"Oh, I see." Jessica nodded. "50th floor. I'll have Trish and Malcolm bring my things." She smirked as she walked away leaving Tony confused.

Rhodey was listening to his iPod, but pulled his earbuds out when he noticed Tony's confusion. "What just happened here?" He asked.

"I think I just took in four stray superheroes." Tony frowned. "And one of them's blind."

"No." Rhodey held back laughter. "You didn't?"

"Yep." Tony sighed. "I don't know how it happened. But it did."

"I think you should make them Avengers too." Rhodey clapped Tony on the shoulder. "For good measure."

"Murdock, I can deal with. He hangs about here anyway." Tony shook his head. "But Jones, Cage and Rand?" He tutted. "Going a bit too far."

"Well, you took in Coulson and his family." Rhodey pointed out.

"It's a bit different when a dead friend turns up on your doorstep, _alive_ with two kids-one of them disabled."

"Well, Murdock is also disabled." Rhodey shrugged. "Think about it like that. He's super duper blind."

"I guess..." Tony sighed.

"Come on. Let's go get dinner." Rhodey suggested.

"You'd better tell Bruce he needs to make four more portions." Tony blinked.

"Yeah, I'm not doing that." Rhodey put his hands up in mock surrender.

Tony let out a sigh that sounded more like a growl. "When did I become such a pushover?" He asked.

"There's nothing wrong with being a pushover." Rhodey smirked.

"I hate my life." Tony grunted.


	9. December 9th

December 9 2015

" _Ding dong merrily on high, in heaven the bells are ringing. Ding dong verily the sky..._ " Tony sang to himself as he walked to the dining room, hands in pockets. From the dining room he heard laughter and a story being told.

"... Sweet Christmas! And so Danny goes and-"

"What's going on here?" Tony asked.

"Luke was just telling a story." Clint smiled. "About him and Danny."

"Hey." Danny smiled. "I'm Danny and I-"

"Don't care." Tony held his hand up. "Really. I don't."

"Well, you should, Tony" Natasha said. "It's not only you, Steve, Bruce and Thor who have stories, you know."

"Really? I had no idea!" Tony said sarcastically.

"Have you ever bothered to ask me about the Red Room?" Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Or Clint about the circus?"

"Legolas, you were in the circus?" Tony asked, slightly taken aback.

"See, you don't care about us." Natasha confirmed.

"Honestly, Stark, I'm surprised you know I'm Deaf." Clint folded his arms.

"What do you know about Janet and Hank?" Natasha asked. "Have you bothered to ask Matt about Stick?"

"Honestly Tony, you know nothing about any of us." Clint shook his head.

"I'm betting even Rhodey." Natasha raised her eyebrows.

"I-I know Rhodey." Tony said assertively.

"Come back and prove it." Natasha scoffed. "But for now, just sit down and listen to Luke and Danny's story. You just might get to know them a bit better."

"Where was I?" Luke raised an eyebrow as he thought.

"Sweet Christmas?" Danny offered.

"Ah yeah!" Luke chuckled. "And I said 'Sweet Christmas!' And so Danny goes up to the robot and he charges up his Chi energy-"

"Like this!" Danny said excitedly as he balled up his fist, which began to emit a yellow glow.

"And he punched right through the robot's face. Yanked out its brain too." Luke smiled.

"I didn't know robots had brains before then." Danny shook his head.

"And then, as I had a robot in my hands, I-"

"Luke, are you telling the Ultron Bot story again?" Jessica asked from the doorway. Everyone turned to look at her. "You know, you must've told that story a hundred times over now."

"Yeah, but these guys ain't heard it yet." Luke shrugged.

"It's always fun to act it out." Danny said, his fist dimming the glow.

"You must be the superhero formerly known as Jewel." Natasha stood up and walked over to Jessica. "I'm Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow. Over there's my partner-in more ways than one-Clint Barton, or Hawkeye. And you've probably already met the socially inept Tony Stark by now."

"Boy, have I." Jessica rolled her eyes.

"Do you need anyone to show you around?" Natasha asked.

"No, his girlfriend's shown us all around." Jessica nodded. "I mean Matt might need some help, but-"

"Murdock? The blind lawyer?" Natasha asked. Jessica confirmed it with a nod. "JARVIS!" She called out.

"Yes, Ms Romanoff?" JARVIS asked.

"Can you check on the whereabouts of Matt Murdock?"

"Mr Murdock is still in the medical bay." The AI replied.

"Thanks."

"My pleasure Ms Romanoff."

"Wait-what the _hell_ was _that_?" Luke asked as his eyes widened.

"You have a disembodied voice tell you where people are?" Jessica asked with a look of dubiousness on her face. " _Pretty_ sure that's stalking."

"That's JARVIS. He's an AI." Tony replied with a grunt.

"No, _it_ is an AI." Jessica corrected. "Because computer programs can't present as any gender."

"Whatever." Tony rolled his eyes as he walked out of the room again. Natasha looked back over at Clint, who was at the table, laughing.

"You know, I think Stark's met his true match, Clint." Natasha chuckled. She turned to Jessica "Congratulations, Ms Jones, I hope you keep this up. It's so fun to see Stark wound up like this."

Jessica smirked. "Thanks. It's fun to do it."

"God knows we all need a bit of fun." Danny added. "Hands up who in this room lost their parents in some kind of violent manner." He said, raising his hand. Clint raised his hand, followed by Jessica, Luke and Natasha. "All of us then." He shrugged.

"Car crash." Jessica and Clint said at the same time. They exchanged puzzled glances.

"Same with Stark though." Natasha shrugged. "You know, I think the only one of us with a parent is Thor who has Odin."

"Coulson's kids obviously have him." Clint pointed out.

"Yeah, but Coulson _has_ still died..." Natasha sighed.

"No!" Clint blurted out. "Hope has Hank and Janet-who're right here!"

"That's... True." Natasha agreed. "The rest of us are orphans then."

"Well, Vision has Tony, Bruce, Helen and Thor. Ultron's pretty much gone, but four out of five ain't bad." Clint shrugged.

"There's someone here who has five parents?" Luke raised an eyebrow.

"He's actually a robot." Natasha nodded.

"O... Kay." Luke nodded slowly. "Think I'm just gonna... Go now. Come on Danny." He walked out of the room. Danny followed him, but stopped at the doorway.

"You know, I got my powers from mythology and magic, but you guys..." Danny shook his head. "I had _no idea_ that science could be weirder than that."

"Yeah, that's us." Clint chuckled. "Weird. Thank you, come again!"


	10. December 10th

December 10 2015

" _Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the_... What the hell was _that_?!" Tony shouted as thunder clapped all around the tower and lightning flashed, both seemingly out of nowhere.

"Oh. Thor's back." Phil casually remarked.

"You know _Thor_?" Max and Dana stared wide eyed at Phil.

"Course we know Thor." Tony said. "He's a good buddy of mine and-"

"Hello my Avenger friends!" Thor's voice boomed across the rec room as he entered. "I bring gifts from Asgard for this holiday you call..." He paused as he caught sight of Phil. "What black magic is this?"

"Yeah, that's almost exactly what Lady Sif said." Phil chuckled.

"You have seen Sif and commanded her not to speak of this to me?" Thor growled as he grew more irate. "What have you done with the Son of Coul?!" Phil blinked. "Tell me! Or I shall have you taken straight to Hel!"

"Thor, relax." Clint peeled himself off the couch. "That there's Phil Coulson. The _real_ Phil Coulson."

"How do you know this, Friend Archer?" Thor narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Clint. "Have they embedded themselves into you mind as well?"

"What-?" Clint shook his head.

"These alien parasites make you think this robot man is Phil Coulson!"

"Alright, own up guys, who's been letting Thor watch sci-fi movies?" Tony sighed.

Natasha put her hand up. "Invasion of the Body Snatchers."

Clint cleared his throat. "Blade Runner."

Rhodey hung his head. "Rick and Morty."

Sam nodded. "Inception."

Bruce tried to sneak out of the room. "Bruce!" Tony said warningly.

"Don't look at me, I only showed him Zardoz." Bruce sighed.

"One of you's shown him _one_ movie in particular and you _know_ which one it is. So whoever it is, put your hand up. Everyone else, look away." Tony said commandingly and everyone looked away. And everyone besides Phil and his kids also put their hands up.

"Total Recall." They recited.

"Come on-even you, Pep?" Tony whined. Pepper nodded.

"I'm sorry, Tony, it's a very good movie." She said.

Tony shook his head in disgust. "Come on guys! Just show him 101 Dalmatians-this guy doesn't understand our... He doesn't even know what a TV is!" He said exasperatedly. "How in the hell is he supposed to get _Inception_?!"

"So... Nobody has control of the dead body of Son of Coul?"

"Come on guys!" Tony begged. "It's cool to show Blade Runner to someone who's never seen it before. But not to _Thor_!"

"Daddy, what's Blade Runner?" Dana asked, tugging on the sleeve of Phil's sweater.

"A movie for adults, like me." Phil replied.

"Can I watch it?" She asked again, flashing her toothless smile.

"When you're old enough."

"Son of Coul, I had no idea you were a father." Thor frowned. "If you _are_ Son of Coul, that is."

"I _am_." Phil grunted out.

"Are you sure?"

" _Yes_." Phil narrowed his eyes slightly. "This is Max and that's Dana."

"Why does his chair have wheels?"

"Because it's a wheelchair." Phil shrugged. "He can't walk very far. He was hurt and now his leg muscles contract and relax and that gets painful for him."

"He must be a brave warrior then."

"Dad tells me I am." Max nodded.

"He's really smart. I taught him all about Norse mythology-history-whatever you are." Phil said.

"You're Thor the God of thunder, your wife is Sif, goddess of the harvest. Loki is your best friend and brother and he's the trickster God who murdered my dad." Max said excitedly. "Your father is Odin, the god of war who gave his eye for knowledge in the fight with the Frost Giants. Loki's mother is the Frost Giant Laufey. You have other brothers and the most important is Baldr since Loki will kill him and bring about Ragnarok."

"Also Loki's son is a horse!" Dana giggled. "And a snake and a wolf and the goddess Hel who watches Hel, where Vikings go when they aren't going to Valhalla."

"These children know more than I do." Thor stared blankly at Phil's two children.

"Heimdall is the guy who sees everything!" Dana blurted out.

"Dad said he's impotent." Max nodded. Everyone in the room chuckled.

Phil bit back laughter. "Max, that's not what I said. I said _omnipotent._ " He corrected.

"Yeah, Sweetie." Natasha said. "Impotent means something _completely_ different."

"What _does_ impotent mean?" Dana asked.

"I'll tell you when you're older." Phil nodded, patting her head.

"So you really _are_ Son of Coul?" Thor asked.

"Well, son of Robert, but yeah." Phil nodded.

"Wouldn't that make you Robertson?" Thor frowned.

"No. It makes me Coulson." Phil corrected. "My father was Robert Coulson. Then he died. And didn't come back like I did." He sniffled.

"Dad doesn't like it when we talk about Grandpa." Max nodded.

"So you are Coulson as well?"

Max nodded. "I see it on stuff that I'm Maxwell Stephen Coulson. So I must be."

"Wait, Phil, your kid's middle name is _Stephen_?" Tony raised an eyebrow.

"He came with the name, he was already three years old, I-" Phil protested.

"I'm convinced you picked him for the name." Tony chuckled.

"Why?" Phil folded his arms.

"Stephen? Steve Rogers? Captain America?" Tony looked around and everyone looked confusedly back at him. "Am I _seriously_ the _only_ person seeing this?"

"We just don't think it's funny." Pepper shook her head, a sheepish expression on her face.

"Oh come on. You bunch of stiffs." Tony rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Screw you guys, I'm going home." He said, walking out of the room.

"You _are_ home!" Pepper called after him.

"Suck a dick, dumb shits!" Tony shouted back.

"Language!" Steve screamed.


End file.
